How to follow?

I began a class last week. We practice contemplative/meditative prayer each day. Working toward discerning God’s will in our lives. I am sure learning how to let go of our own agenda is certainly a first step. There would be little point in hearing if we were unwilling to trust what we have heard. But how does one accept God’s will? Isaac taking his son up the mountain to sacrifice…………. I am quite certain that if I heard such a request, I would not understand it as from God. As it is not bringing new life or love or joy or at least compassionate understanding into the world, I would reject the thought as the evil in me. Yet, mothers do so often let go of their children because God has plans that are not our own.

I list children first because I think as a mother, that is what I find the loss of them hardest to imagine that I could surrender to God’s will. But there accepting God’s will that brings pain to the other. Abraham knew what he was doing was what God asked. Sarah though, her suffering would have been quite unbearable. Isaac her only son. Offered up by her husband, the boys own father…..

Jesus’s mother Mary heard from the Lord, and agreed to have a child knowing that Joseph would not deal well with the idea. The struggle with doing God’s will and not disrupting life with those who trust you is difficult. Joseph had a dream that indeed Mary was being honest and that he was called to walk with her through the life of the child. Then Mary had to continually trust the guidance the Lord brought to Joseph. Go to Egypt, return from Egypt, and other moments. Mary had to trust that he was indeed doing the right thing (or perhaps she had her own dreams of confirmation).

It is a really hard thing to trust that what they are hearing is a call to action from the Lord. The first time you went along with “God said” you are opening the door to the possibility that they could abuse this trust. Especially since God does not promise a good outcome to all things. The next time they wanted something you were deeply set against, you will be faced with the possibility that they could use the “God Said!” card. How do you trust another?

As one who has be working to sit and wait for the Lord to move me to do HIs will, I have had times I’ve been called to do things that others thought was very wrong. And yet, I knew I was asked. The outcome was not what I wanted or expected. Yet, I was clearly asked! Since I am single, I don’t have a spouse I am dragging along through questionable adventures. However, it is these adventures that provide major growth. Because it is very hard knowing you did what was to be done without the outcome being anything positive. It is shameful and embarrassing! The lesson has been to live with the not knowing why. Not understanding the way the Lord in his providential way has a larger picture that required something within the offering of my actions to His will. I can only walk, I cannot judge.

The endless loop of accepting those difficult things that happen throughout life or the difficulty of walking in trust with the Lord through unhappy experiences. ALWAYS KEEPING IN MIND: GOD’S WILL IS ENOUGH!